...In The Name Of Allah Most Gracious Most Merciful...

Assalamualaikum WRT..........

Masya ALLAH!!! Do u know how it feels to be deprived of something..?? Really u just dont appreciate things around u TILL u lose it!

Well..finally after MONTHS & MONTHS of waiting we finally have broadband connection..after months of checking my mails through my mobile, after loong loong wait for BT to set up the phone line..at 4 am on FRIDAY we discovered..the line is activated..

OK OK i get u..NO i wont bore u with my diappointments and outcries of deprivation..the thing is since i have not updated my blog for sooo long i seriously dont know where to start. So many things have happened, i have read so many interesting and intriguing materials..the ideas are never ending. I simply cannot decide whether to inspire, to share, to complain or simply to remain silent..hmm..decisions decisions decisions..

Tell u what i shall start with the simple stuffs..then..we'll see where it goes...

..MY EVER DEAREST FRIENDS..

Alhamdulillah, had a brief meeting with the bestest friends anyone could ever ask for..wish i had more time with them..STILL..just to see the smile on their faces..just to hug them..and listen to their stories..it may have been brief but the memory will stay with me till the next time we meet..

Last Month....

 

Two Years Ago Before UK...(Credits to Cik Ieta)

Private Wishes

Akmar:  Happy Birthday dearest dearest Kemar. The things we've been through..the ups and downs..i must say..have been the things that shaped me to become who I am today. Thank You. My only gift for u is my life long prayers that Allah bless u with his Love and Mercy Insya Allah (Hadiah material kira hutang la yer ;) )

Nadrah: I will always admire your courage and strength. Aisyah is just beautiful. We soo think alike dont we. I've always wanted a baby girl name Aisyah..hmm hope u dont mind us naming our daughter Aisyah as well ;). Though we could not live the dreams we had during our uni days..u are always close to my heart and I will be looking fwd to our private times at our favourite meeting place..:) Please don't stop giving me advice. Cant wait to learn and share with u how to raise up our children..

Sha & Ita: Happy Birthday u guys!! Cant believe how u both have evolved into beautiful butterflies. Jeles jeles. Sha..thank u soo much for motivating me and being there for me when i need u most. Ita...well sorry for not responding to your mail. I AM EXTREMELY HAPPY for u..And YES SHA am happy for u as well..ye la u r now 25, older than me..and..for all the reasons that u should be happy for..:)

Shima: My ex roomie..the strong one...the chain that keeps us together. That's her. Shima u r one in a million. Thank you for being the person u are.

Mar, Naj & Nida: I shall refer to u gals..the corporate girls. I do admire how u juggle all the things thats going on in your life. Nida the super mummy & corporate lady..AFIQ is so wonderfully adorable. Mar..no one can ever challenge your passion and spirit!! Hope tt u will be joining me soon here. At least finally i'll have a woman shopping buddy. NAJ dearest NAJ..u on the other hand..we've been friends the longest..we share so many things...your spirit and courage..is indescribable. All the best with your MBA..and keep on going to achieve your dreams..u deserve it! (jeles aa kete u naj!!)

Yup.."PENGANTIN LAMA"...that's what they referred to us during Lin's wedding. OOww common..I mean we r still newly weds ourselves :(.

ok so where r we now...yes yes "KISAH PENGANTIN LAMA"...:)

POINTS TO PONDER

Well firstly before i go on let me just stress one point..anything jotted down here is intended to serve as points i would like to share..things that worked for us to share with u guys..who knows it'll work for u too..

Firstly..

I am on my 37th week of pregnancy. Yup three to five weeks to go (hopefully!) before Insya Allah we will blessed with one of life's wonderful miracles. A CHILD.

Alhamdulillah, despite the difficulties during the first four months of pregnancy..the rest of the pregnancy have been great. I've lost track of how much weight i have gained (tak nak check pun!!)..back pain almost non existent (at least till now), rapid kicking but STILL enjoyable (must be because of the world cup..the baby i noticed didnt stop kicking during the Germany vs Argentina game..must be feeling the way i feel..ARGENTINA SHOULD HAVE WON :(( )..and many other wonderful things too much to mention here.

We are soo looking forward for the baby. Who wouldnt..?? However so close to the end of the pregnancy...many (i must say both irrational & rational) fears are overwhelming me.

- A child is an amanah..

"O ye who believe! Truly, among your wives and your children are (some that are) enemies to yourselves: so beware of them! But if ye forgive and overlook, and cover up (their faults), verily Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. Your riches and your children may be but a trial: but in the Presence of Allah is the highest Reward." (64:14-15)

i mean u can only pray and try your best to raise the child to become the best person the child can ever be for the sake of ALLAH BUT what the future holds u wiil never know. I constantly pray that the child will not inherit my bad qualities and have all the good qualities that Anuar has. When i see him with his and my siblings, both our parents..i wish i was like him. I hope our first child will turn out to be just like him.

i constantly fear that i wont have the patience to raise the baby. What if i loose control. what if i get angry at the smallest little things..what if i become a bad mother?? WHAT IF i do the wrong things the first time..THIS IS NOT A TRIAL AND ERROR exercise. This is the reality..the real thing..there are so many unanswered what ifs..? I am not ready, i have not read all the books in the market!! What if i fail?? i dont want my baby to suffer from my mistakes...

The thing is..i often forget..i am not going through this alone. I have a loving husband who will insya Allah always be by my side, hand in hand, guiding me through the tough times, sharing the responsibility in order to raise Allah's Amanah to us.

no doubt we will be making mistakes along the way, we are not perfect, neither is the child...BUT..we will always have the comfort knowing that we have each other and most importantly we have Allah to turn to..ALWAYS.

- Secretly i wish we had more time together..the marriage has been soo wonderful so far. For those of u who r soon to be married..let me share with u some tips:-

Some ppl will tell u that the first year of marriage will be difficult (at least tts what some ppl told me) well why not?, they say. u need to adjust to each other, make a lot of sacrifices etc etc etc..

My advice..well there are some things u can take and digest..this point however i would suggest just keep in mind but dont take it to the heart. The thing is, it wont be DIFFICULT if u realise that the journey that u are about to take is as new for him as it is for u. Enter the marriage without any expectations on your spouse. Enter the marriage as if it is a blank book waiting for its pages to be filled by two eager writers who are full of ideas and things to share.

KEY POINTS TO REMEMBER:

a. Always remember this: Marriage is an Ibadah..so approach it that way!! Making each other happy (with sincerity and honesty) would mean that u r making Allah happy..when things get difficult keep this in mind. Constantly remind yourself this..insya Allah..u will always keep your calm..and present your best smile to your spouse always and in return when u see your spouse returning your smile..the feeling u'll experience..no words can describe.

b. Classic text book theories: Always be sincere, honest, patient and understanding. U may get tired reading these four words over & over again but trust me..THESE four words should be constantly on your mind always and always.

Eg: the way we approach things..when there r things that one of us did tt the other one did not really prefer..instead of the normal "merajuk", getting angry or annoyed, we would make the effort to keep calm, take some time to ponder and then sit down and discuss with each other how we both feel and most importantly discuss how we could both improve things. Its not about the blaming game. What would u get from blaming each other? Pain..it may be satisfying at first to make the other suffer but in the long run u will both lose. Why not...make each other happy by sharing how u feel, figure out a way together how to improve things..and in return u will both end up happy...and satisfied insya Allah.

c. RESPECT. this is soo important. So many times i have shared with Anuar my bogus ideas and visions..well soo many have labelled me as being too idealistic..thinking back if i was Anuar i'd be brushing my ideas off..BUT tts just not the way to treat your significant other.

Anuar has always given me the respect that i sometimes think i dont deserve. As a woman, we have soo many weaknesses..emotionally i must admit. But the thing about Anuar is..that he never make me feel weak or helpless..he listens to my ideas..how bogus it may be..he respects my views though they may not be relevant to the particular context..and most importantly at this most difficult phase in my life..he has always been giving me motivation to keep hanging on..to keep on fighting and most importantly to keep on reaching for my goals though the circumstances around me are limiting me from doing so..Yes, respect is what he gives me..and at this point of my life i shall treasure it always. Alhamdulillah.

d. Love & Humour..

Love..i need not explain further..u will know when the time comes. HUMOUR that u must have in your marriage..look at how the Prophet Muhammad S.A.W used to entertain His beloved wife Aisyah..that's how u should spend your time enjoying your marriage with your husband..looking back..Anuar has made me laugh soo much...that i cant remember the last time i felt really sad or depressed...Truely laughter is the best medicine. Again making your husband or wife happy is an Ibadah..Masya Allah..isnt Allah GREAT..Allah makes it soo easy for us to please HIM but we often (or in this case I often) forget to give my thanks to Allah and make sacrifices for the sake of ALLAH.

Well these are just the few basic tips i'd like to share with u guys.

Back to my point..i hope that when the baby comes..we will still enjoy each other's company like we have always been..I do hope that our relationship will be strengthened with the presence of our baby..and more babies to come insya Allah.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST

Before i end this time around, just in case i dont get the chance to update the blog before i give birth..

To all that were kind enough to browse through my blog..I ask for your forgiveness for all the mistakes i may have done whether i realise it or not.

To my dearest family and friends..please grant me your prayers..please pray that my baby and I will be healthy and safe..

To Anuar..I know u will be reading this..thank you...thank you for letting me be myself and thank you, thank you for making this journey the best I ever had.

ALHAMDULILLAH..

Wassalam.